June has me flummoxed. Brief, random thoughts…

Monday. June 6th. Three more days of school. I have tried and tried to look forward to summer… at the moment, my confession is that I *don’t* look forward to summer. I’m working hard on my own personal attitude adjustment.

Today I’m remembering my mom’s cousin, George Wickler, killed on the beach at Normandy, June 6, 1944. He was 18. He was the son of Mom’s Aunt and Uncle, Roy and Anne Wickler. Their commitment to country, his sacrifice, a family’s tears and resolve still move me deeply. I remember. Mom is buried at the same stone, and George is a part of my childhood memories of cemetery visits.

Tuesday, June 7th now. Dad and I are heading to Platteville tomorrow to see Mom’s new headstone that was finally placed this spring. How dread and hope can coexist, I don’t know. But that’s how I feel today. I’ll have a longer post later this week when we get back. We are coming up on the final stretch of the first year without mom… and the closer we get to the last of the firsts, the more raw I am feeling. It is what it is. And God is good. But I don’t want to miss what He has for me on this journey. So I’m working hard to ‘feel’ it all. June 13th is the anniversary of the last time Scott and my kids saw her… and the last time I saw her up and around. So everything is a little…. vivid this week.

More later and thanks for following along… this journey is my own.

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “June has me flummoxed. Brief, random thoughts…

  1. {{{Steph}}} Raw sounds normal for that first year. I didn’t realize how much I was, in a sense, holding my breath during those first YEARS after my mom went home. I know that may not make sense, but it seems to be the only way I can describe that feeling. I’m praying for you!

    Blessings,
    Tammy ~@~

  2. steph – i totally identify with the rawness of everything. i’m coming up on a year with my brother’s death, and the last of the firsts and the further time gets just feels…hard. time is moving on but the more time that passes, the further and further this life-changing event gets and it makes me feel out of tune with reality. or maybe i’m just tuning in to the fact that this IS reality now. maybe i’m really starting to accept it, and that in itself feels raw. either way, i know what you are feeling and i pray that you meet God in unexpected and real ways as the year anniversary comes and goes. i hope you get some good quiet time to process and reflect on the last year. love you, steph. 🙂

  3. I have a dear friend mourning the loss of her husband of nearly 50 years. She is coming up on the year anniversary of his death to colon cancer, on July 4th. She is going on a snorkling trip with her daughter this coming week…. something they would have done together. She still has a very hard time running errands alone, because they went everywhere together.
    I don’t get it all, but I get it some, as he was a dear friend, and I love you and am sending prayers your way.

    Love,
    heather

  4. Hey Steph:
    My heart is with you. I think sundown is the times I miss my family the most…my late hubby and my mom and dad. I would find that I would sit on the porch close to sundown and subconsciously be “waiting” for him to come home from work. (I believe there’s a syndrome for that, and undoubtedly it’s quite normal and a lot of people go thru that). No one can ever replace our mothers. I know the dread you must feel about going to the cemetery. I felt the same. it’s another step in grieving and getting past those “firsts”. There are still days that I see him and see my folks, and the missing is even deeper. I don’t guess we ever, ever get over missing them. I fall back on the wonderful memories…pray…and smile. God be with you. Blessings always. Ruth Ann in East Texas

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