Mother’s Day 2011


When Mom was beginning to weaken in very obvious ways last spring, I began to have an evening prayer time on our front porch after the kids tucked in. It faces north, and the sunsets to the west were reason enough to sit out front and take a moment to catch my breath. I remember so clearly the feeling of not being able to breathe in with enough depth to ‘get past’ the knot in my stomach… the only thing that could begin to assuage the feeling of helpless dread was time with the Lord – via The Divine Hours – on my front porch.

The Divine Hours is a book of prayers and readings for every day – it’s sort of an expanded Morning, Noon, and Evening prayer from the Book of Common Prayer, with some other things – hymn lyrics, early church fathers, etc – thrown in. I can’t recommend it highly enough, especially if you’re new to praying The Hours and don’t want to have to jump around between several books.

Last night was the first night that the weather was nice enough to enjoy the sunset here this spring now that the sun is heading back to the ‘right’ place in the sky to be able to enjoy it from the porch. I was surprised that the color of the sky was so evocative… but it was.

And so I sat. And thought. And prayed. And cried some. And watched the sun sink into the spring sky. And the reality of Mom’s absence continues to sink more deeply into the pores of my life and heart. I’m anticipating a sense of relief after the first anniversary passes by.. and it will be ten months tomorrow.

I think of all the Mother’s Days of my life – from my youngest days of making crafts and singing songs, to just last year when mom bought me several hanging baskets for our yard. How I would love to do the same for her again. Mom’s headstone will be placed this week. I’ll be heading down to Platteville in the days ahead to make it ready for spring, just as she did her for own mom last May.

I look forward to a summer of sunsets that bring memories that are both hard and good. God has been so faithful to me and to the ones I love the most. How could I ask for more?

There’s nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing Mama’s face goodnight
Holding Daddy’s hand
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot through the grass
A little hide and go seek
Being so in love, that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark, when there’s no one else around
Being bundled ‘neath the covers, watching snow
Fall to the ground
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I’ve made along the way

So if there’s anything I’ve learned
From this journey I am on
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cause there are questions without answers
Flames that never die
Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord
How could I ask for more

Posted in Mom