From where I sit….

….I see a kitchen that’s suffering from the spaghetti dinner I just cooked.. I see a 6 year old boy eating ‘just one more piece of bread’… I see a poodle doing laps, finding all the treasures on the floor… I see Daddy, working hard to prepare the house for a gathering we’re having here on Monday night… I see a 9 year old, whose cheeks are just regaining the proper color after a frostbite scare this afternoon… I see a baby swing in full swing mode with no baby… hmm… oh, that’s right – the baby is laying across my arms here at the table, drinking his bottle – which i’m holding in his mouth with my face in order to free up my hands to type… and he finishes the bottle, I look down at his perfect little face, and he grins the drunken baby ‘I’m full and SOOO content.. and you’re awesome!’ grin.

When we found out we were expecting #4, one of my first thoughts that quickly turned into a matter for prayer was ‘oh dear. this one has GOT to be mellow or I’m not going to make it’. Oh, the Lord knows what a mommy heart needs! Number Four is 11 1/2 weeks old… and sleeps for an 8-hour shift every night – has been doing so for more than a week. None of my other kids did that until they were 2! [Yes. I know. I created monsters.] Number Four seriously ONLY cries when he’s hungry (except, that is, for yesterday, when he had his shots. For the record.. he doesn’t like shots.)

But, the fact of the matter is, the one who needed mellowing was… me. For a procrastinator, I sure get on my son when he’s not finishing his work. For a clutterbug, I sure get on my middle kids when their rooms are cluttery. For a woman who has wrestled with weight issues my whole life, I sure restrict treats from my kids. Sure, I want them to excel where I struggle… but I needed to ease up. And I have. And I’m learning. And I’m more aware than ever of the grace and mercy that the Lord has extended to me to cover all of my sins.

I spent a week with Anne Graham Lotz in November. She taught from Genesis on the life of Abraham. For every great, obedient choice this friend of God made, he made a stinker or two along the way as well. But oh, the way he pleaded with God for the lives of the people he loved! When did I last pray with such passion for my own children? I was so convicted of my need to make right choices, and to receive God’s free grace – lavish forgiveness – when I don’t. And, hopefully, to change the scales on those two measures as I walk with Jesus over the years of my life. The ones who are with me 24/7 take the brunt of my failures. I want them to look back on these years as magic. By God’s grace, may it be so!

So from where I sit, it looks… good. A little cluttery, overflowing… and very right. Thank You, Lord.

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10 thoughts on “From where I sit….

  1. hey, friend – just found this and am SO pumped to “sit a bit with you” from time to time. i long to do that in real life with you, but feel i am at least tracking better thanks to technology……love you – me

  2. What a beautifully written reminder of our need to show grace and forgiveness to our children. How can we not when we have received unending grace from our Lord?

    I love hearing the joy you feel with your sweet little baby right now. Those contented, “I’m full” smiles are some of the best in the world! 😉

    Angie

  3. Thanks, you guys! Carole, great to see you. Let’s just pretend we’re at virtual Starbucks…

    Tammy, you’ve been an encouragement to me since the moment I began reading your stuff. Thanks for your faithfulness to the Lord, to your family… you are the stuff of legend. NINE KIDS!

    Angie, your post the other day about the wig just about did me in. Those pictures are lifers. Thanks for laughing with me at the absurdity of it all…

    and Di, I’ve pretty much decided that you’re one of my heroes.

  4. This is why we became seester-girls so long ago. I can so relate to just about everything you said here (minus 2 kids, mostly). I really struggle, too, with helping my kids not overeat and be active while I’m not so great at that myself!

    Etc.

    Love you. And I’ll be home for Christmas and New Year, so I hope we have time to connect…I don’t know if I’ve met more than your eldest.

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